19.Dec.2009 I’m On A (Sinking) Boat - Shaan

Unlike The Alligator, The Gainesvillains aren’t here to bash Greeks. In fact, we love them, because they are collectively the most villainous group in Gainesville. Brawls outside of Balls, catfights at Swamp, taking drunken dumps on rival houses, corn hole, mackin’ on skanks, skipping the line at 101, it’s just all so cash. That is why The Gainesvillains think DG’s “I’m On a Boat Remix” is the best thing to happen to the Greek community in a while.

First off, let’s show the video one more time, with lyrics transcribed the best we can, since these girls keep singing all over each other, obviously fighting to be the star voice:

Annie, What the fuck is a canoe doing in our front yard?
Why is there like a boat in our yard?

AWWWW SHIT
Everybody get your towels ready, it’s about to go down
Everybody in the place hit the motherfuckin’ deck
but stay on your motherfuckin’ toes

I’m on a boat (I’m on a boat)
I’m on a boat (I’m on a boat)
Everybody look at me cause I’m sailin on a boat (sailin on a boat)
I’m on a boat (I’m on a boat)
I’m on a boat
Take a good hard look at the motherfuckin boat (boat, yeah)

I’m on a boat mother fucker, take a look at me
Straight blowin’ on a boat on the DG
KD’s and ZTA’s jealous, they all wanna slit my throat
They can’t stop me motherfucker cuz I’m on a boat

Take a picture trick
The pnm’s bitch
They follow us like puppies cuz we so quick
I got my headband on, and my ragin’ whopper(?)
I’m lookin fly, you at Sigma Chi straight lookin’ proper

Thank god I’m not a dolphin, doin’ deltas and shit
Showin’ up at parties, bringin’ all the fuglies with
But this ain’t Seaworld
Your mascot is as gay as it gets
I’m on a boat motherfucker don’t you ever forget.

I’m on a boat and
It’s going fast and
I gotta nautical themed metallic headband
We’re the queens of the row, so fuck you hatas
And if you ain’t that cute, then you probably went ZTA

GET THE FUCK UP, THIS BOAT IS REAL

Fuck pandas I’m a hata motherfucker
Fuck crowns, golden anchor motherfucker
Fuck Tri Delts you suck, motherfucker
And ADPi hates one trick, mother fucker

Mom Jerry(?), if you could see me now
PC ’09 got that boom boom pow
We’re gonna be hotter than God somehow
Shout out Jenni Skinner, DG is unstoppable

I never thought I’d be on a boat
We’re the queens of sorority row
Hey ZTA, look at me
I always knew I’d see the day
That KD would decay
Believe when I say
They’re fucked on bid day
Yeah yeah yeah
Ooh oooh ohh
Shawty
DG

It’s nice to see Brooke Helvie figured out the key to stardom is an investment in auto-tuner. Rumors say DG will receive sanctions from the Panhellenic Council, the University of Florida, their Nationals, as well as a personal “speaking to” from Bernie Machen himself.

Some of the funnier comments we’ve seen on the matter (thanks Get It Greek):

Get off the high horse, once you are out of Florida with your Bachelors in Telecomm/PR, you will likely just be a spankbag for your adulterous husbands

The Holocaust(or Boat Remix) wasnt meant to be seen by the world(or sorority row), and it was funny to the Germans(or DG) does that mean it was ok? hmm….

Hope Gillis isn’t driving that boat

The lovely ladies of Delta Gamma offer a rich heritage based on principles of personal integrity, personal responsibility and intellectual honesty. Its primary purpose is to foster high ideals of friendship, promote educational and cultural interests, create a true sense of social responsibility, and develop the finest qualities of character. They’re on a BOAT mutha fucka!!!

What is your opinion on the matter?
Should ZTA record a response video?
Do you think Bernie is right handed or left handed?
Will DG’s formal be on a boat this year, or would that be considered “too controversial?”
Do you know what the unrecognizable lyrics are?
How in the fuck is this even related to the Holocaust?