Hopefully by piecing together the shards of wristbands on the floor or by logging into your online bank statement you can grasp some faded memory of “the best years of your life.” If not, you could just look at these photos and see what you were up to or what you missed.

Click the first photo to see what happened Friday night, click the second photo to see what happened Saturday night, or click here to see everything at once.

Dancing the night away.

Here, have a card, or two.

Bill Maher also has some interesting things to say about BP.

Now that I’ve tickled your funny bone, it’s time to stimulate your eyeballs. If you haven’t heard yet, The Vault is Gainesville’s premier nightclub with the craziest sound, lights, and atmosphere available in the 352. Click the photo below to check out the party pics from last Saturday night at The Vault:

Shaan doing what he does best.

Have you seen/heard anything terrifying or hilarious about the oil in the Gulf?

Have you tagged your friends in the Gainesvillains party albums yet?

Are my post titles clever?

Sunny weather often creates a need for muscles, legs, skimpy suits and lotions. Unfortunately, SouthWest construction has really been pissing people off and leaving them to look elsewhere. Luckily, Joey Friedman, the undisputed champ of throwing down the biggest pool parties is having one on Saturday the 15th.

I think this video is from Germany, but I withdrew from German last summer so I really couldn’t tell you but it did in fact create lols.

We here at The Villains have been working diligently to bring you some suggestions/guidelines to follow to make sure you get tugged on Vday. That is, if you even want to get tugged, if not, you’ll probably find something else to do.

Finding a date
Step #1
Spam every girl you’re friends with that a. you’re not related to, b. you aren’t currently dating. and c. you haven’t already done the dirty with on facebook with a “HEY I know we haven’t talked in bit, but I was wondering if you were up to anything on hmmmmm, Sunday????” play it real cool with a few returns and then sign it with a “;)” This will develop interest in the community and build a following interested in what will happen next.

Step #2
Scout out some real legit places around town that people would obviously never go to unless it was on some sort of top secret date operation. The Villain’s would suggest somewhere like Devils Millhopper or any of the other random nature parks/trails/outdoorsy places around town.

Step #3
Forward the address to you’re top secret location to all of those replies in your inbox. Be sure to set a time to make sure everyone arrives on time.

The Perfect Card

Feelings are difficult to put into words. Thats why it becomes necessary to write them down on some colorful, multi-dimensional piece of paper. This obviously, adds meaning to the sentence you wrote your lover about how your relationship has been written in the stars. But How do you pick/write the right card? Its all about using your imagination and inner creative spirit. Anyone can walk into to Target and find something mildly humorous or entertaining. It takes a real lover to cut up a bunch of construction paper and make a mess of some glue sticks.

Gift Buying/Making

Every year we struggle to find the perfect gift for the significant other. Conventional items are trite and overused. Why not start out the decade right and buy something that really has some significance? Maybe the latest porno or a gift card to X-mart or Cafe Risque. Get you and your lover right off the couch and into the shed outback. If you’re on a budget, try making your own gifts by hand to save some money. I suggest checking out Home Depot or Lowes for some fair prices on many of the same “hot” items that those other adult stores are carrying.

Date Night

Making reservations at restaurants is a drag, you have to stop whatever it is you’re doing, find a number, and then actually call it to set a date and time. And not to mention places in town like Harry’s, Dragonfly, and Marks Prime are as expensive as fuuuuck. Luckily for us, Valentines Day falls on a Sunday. This means that you can easily pay for you and your date at a fine local establishment like Salty Dog for an early evening snack and drink. What better way than to tell your man or woman that they are the only one for you then by picking up the bill for a few pints and fried finger foods.

If you’re looking for something a little more out of the ordinary or exciting, try inviting a third party to prove once and for all that you are made for each other. If it looks like you’re going to be alone on Valentines, might as well use the list to find casual lovers for the evening. Be forewarned, hide all your valuables or else that hooker is making away with your laptop.

We hope that your Valentine’s day is super special and unlike any of those other Valentine’s days in the past. We believe that if you follow some of these guidelines you will end up with a truly unique experience.

What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?

Do you even know who St. Valentine is?

Not exactly sure how this is an answer, since it’s more of just a sensational headline to trick people into watching their video, but we were still entertained nonetheless. They hit all the basic frat themes, like fratmusic.com, bros before hoes, and Guy Harvey. We were quite surprised they noticed some of the more subtleties of being a bro, like bangin’ slam pieces and the emergence of v-necks in the fratmosphere. They’re still missing some of the newer terms, like winning championships in frathletics and slam pieces looking for the most frattractive bros to give them sororgasms, but in today’s world, it’s hard to be on the bleeding edge of emerging brocabulary.

However, this poses an interesting question: how many fraternities are going to complain about this video and try to attain disciplinary sanctions against these girls? Whatever the case may be, I would love to sanction both these girls at the same time. I wonder what kind of parody song a frat star would write about being in a sorority? Does a video like that even exist? I wonder who will be the first fraternity to write the song? Off the top of my head, maybe something like:

Ugly anorak strapped to my back
Plastic sunglasses look pitch black
Know all the words to LMFAO
Feeling kind of sober, hit up frat row

In Daddy’s benz, we ride
With my little (omg <3 <3 <3 <3 u little!!!) inside
Snort fat lines till I'm cross eyed
Panhellenic love until we die

RELAX RELAX RELAX! Before you start firing off your angry comments, we’re just messing around. We love sororities. Plus, I’m sure most of you reading this can come up with better lyrics than we can.

Is this video “really, really mean” to fraternities?
Would it be OK for a fraternity to post a “funny” video about a sorority, or is that considered “sexual assault?”
What are some sorority stereotypes?
What is the female equivalent of a bro?
Who is funnier, UF or UCF?